Getting Family Onboard

Ah family. We love them. They make us stronger. They shaped us into the amazing women that we are today. And... sometimes they suck.




We see it all the time while helping brides find their wedding gown. The beautiful bride-to-be is glowing and LOVES the gown that she is trying on! And then, bam! Grandma comes in saying she looks fat. Or mom tells her that she doesn't like that dress because she always pictured her princess in a ball gown. And you can see the bride's face fall and her self esteem plummet.

It's hard to feel beautiful and happy in a wedding dress when everyone around you is being negative. So we have a few suggestions to help you get your family onboard with the gown you love. First, limit the number of people with you. We recommend no more than 2-3 trusted advisors. People who really understand you and your style. When you have a larger group, there are sooooo many opinions and they just end up confusing the bride.




When I was still pretty new to the store, I had a bride come in randomly on a weekday all by herself. I kinda felt sorry for the bride that she didn't have anyone to come to try on dresses in the middle of the week with her. While we were chatting I found out that it was entirely intentional on her part. She had spent all day Saturday with a large group of people "helping" her find a dress and ended the day in tears. So she decided to ditch all the well meaning people to find her perfect dress- not the dress her family wanted for her. Now, after years at the store, I still think about that bride and I think she was a genius.




Second, have a pep talk with your crew before you start shopping. Let them know that negative language is not needed and definitely not wanted. Give them a heads up that instead of saying "that dress makes you look fat" they can say "I love the sparkle on this dress!" Just a quick switch in language can help keep up the vibe and your spirits!




Another thing you can do ahead of time is to let them know that while their opinion is important, this is still your wedding and you want to find a dress that you love without worrying about their expectations. Make it clear that they are there to support you and to help you celebrate this wonderful time in your life. They are not there to recreate their own wedding or to live vicariously through you.

We understand that it is often hard to have those kinds of conversations with your loved ones. So one last thing you can do to help get your loved ones onboard with the dress that you love, is talk to us! We try to read the signals you are sending out, but if you are explicit in your desires with us, we can help!




For example, if you really want an A-line gown but your best friend is positive that a fitted dress is perfect for you, tell us you want to try on a fitted gown that we know will be unflattering on you. If we put a "good" one on you, then your best friend will go on believing that she is right. But if we intentionally put you in something "bad", we shut her up and validate your belief that an A-line gown is the way to go.
Keep in mind that we don't have ugly dresses. But different dresses work for different body types. So something that doesn't work for you, may be the perfect gown for someone else. 




Also, if you have a chat with us in private, we can help guide their expectations. For instance, if you are about to put your favorite gown back on, we can say something along the lines of "Ok everyone! Get ready. We are going to put her favorite dress back on!" Our words, attitude and energy can help them understand that this is the dress- it's time to get onboard.




Every bride and every family is different though. So some of these suggestions won't work for you and your crew. But give one or two of them a try. Even if you don't find The Dress, you still got try on some beautiful gowns without negativity surrounding you!